Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Jet-Puffed Dinosaur Mallows

In a blind taste-test there is absolutely no difference between classic Jet-Puffed Marshmallows and Jet-Puffed Dinosaur Mallows. They're tasty yet not earthshaking, and you hope to get a fresher bag. This bag was super fresh. Visually, the Dinosaur Mallows are awesome. Ok, they could be a little more awesome. In actuality the Triceratops, Brontosaurus, and Tyrannosaurus are barely more than pleasingly hued blue, green, and yellow blobs. They're entirely pleasing, nonetheless.

Score (dinosaur shaped marshmallows!): 5
Score (pleasing hues): 5
Score (good mass-market marshmallow): 3
Score (fresh bag!): 5
Score (brontosaurus blob): 2

Monday, August 13, 2018

Project 7 Cherry Lime Slush Sugar Free Gum

 Mmm, Project 7 sugar free gum flavors are always innovative but some are far more appealing than others. This Summer Edition Cherry Lime Slush flavor is delicious. The packaging promises that the flavor changes from Lime to Cherry, a claim that I question. Maybe the flavor gets a little less sour so that the cherry becomes more dominant. Despite that, it's a tasty gum--well worth picking up at a local Target.

Score: 3
Score (on the sugar-free gum scale): 4

Friday, August 10, 2018

Milka Triple Caramel Bar from Germany

A very disappointing offering, Milka. Usually I love a Milka chocolate bar. It's a good solid mass-market chocolate and the company creates such a vast array of flavors and fillings. This Triple Caramel milk chocolate bar, though, is a series of mis-steps. It's a great idea -- like the classic Sky Bar, this Milka Triple Caramel offers three different varieties of filling within one bar. There's liquid caramel, like a Caramello Bar. The center squares consist of a caramel patty that's super sweet and vaguely chalky. The squares on the right side of the bar consist of solid milk chocolate with tiny hardened caramel bits suspended throughout. I could barely taste them. The Caramello-type filling was pretty good, but the other two failed to delight. Another complaint: the fragile bar is distributed in a thin paper wrapper. Even while perching it on the top of my bag on the way home, the bar was cracked and caramel was oozing by the time I returned home. If there is oozing caramel in a bar, there should be a structured container to maintain the bar's delicate framework.

Score (the idea of the types of caramel in one bar): 4
Score (1 good flavor to 2 bad flavors): 2
Score (packaging): 1

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Glorious Marzipan Creations, Fortunato Brothers Bakery, Brooklyn

That's marzipan! Really! I'll never tire of the incredibly realistic and inventive marzipan creations for sale at Fortunato Brothers Bakery, a Brooklyn mainstay. What gets me every time is that the marzipan looks amazing but also constitutes some of the best-tasting marzipan anywhere. Check out past creations....

Monday, August 6, 2018

Orange Flavor Yogurt Dragees of Poland: Skawa Draze Apacz

I was stumped by the packaging on this Polish confection by Skawa, translated on the label as Orange Flavor Dragees. What's a dragee? Wikipedia tells me that it's a candy, like a Jordan Almond, with a hard outer shell that is typically used as a decoration. So it all makes sense that this handful of round creamsicle flavored candies host a crunchy outer shell and a softer center. The aroma of the candies matches that of a creamsicle perfectly. The center is a super sweet white chocolate with a tiny bit of yogurt-flavored sourness added in. I had low expectations based on the 50-cent pricetag and outdated imagery on the packaging, but these dragees are tasty--a non-messy non-melty creamsicle on-the-go!

Score (creamsicle flavor accuracy): 5
Score (too-sweet white chocolate center): 2
Score (overall): 3(+)

Friday, August 3, 2018

Local Brooklyn Sweets: Salty Road Sea Salt Caramel Salt Water Taffy

It's rare to taste a classic candy and think, " this is honestly the best version of the candy I've ever had. I'm reconsidering the entire nature of this candy." This is the experience I had at first encounter with local Brooklyn taffy-maker Salty Road Salt Water Taffy's Sea Salt Caramel taffies. This was a personal taffy revolution. After years of mass-produced boardwalk salt water taffy, I forgot the perfection of the consistency of a home-spun batch. Add tiny rocks of sea salt and the pleasingly bitter taste of burnt sugar, and I re-evaluated my entire history with taffy. Despite a perfect burnt caramel flavor, you cannot confuse this chew with caramel--it is uniquely taffy in consistency. The box disappeared in less than a day and I shared the treats with no one. I have to find more of this taffy, not to mention that I feel compelled to try more flavors. Thanks, Ben, for bringing this treasure to me.

Score: 5 (for taffy, no less!)

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Gummy Snapshot: Haribo Alphabet Letters Gummi Candy

Another terrific Haribo gummy mix, this time a confusion of letters of the alphabet. Delicious and fun to play with. Only issue: not nearly enough vowels!

Score (Haribo gummy letters): 4
Score (deduct one point for lack of vowels): 3